WOODLAND HILLS, CA – At approximately 11:35 AM this morning, four-month-old Nathan [last name withheld] abandoned his dream of staying awake for the rest of his life. Although the young man had been awake since 4:00 AM and still somehow resisted the urge to take his usual morning nap, he was finally tricked to sleep when his father, Scott [last name withheld], purposely overfed him.
“Jesus,” Nathan’s father told the paper. “I thought I was going to have to get the Benedryl.”
As of publication time, the young man was still konked and could not be reached for comment. Who’s a tough guy now?