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Archive for May, 2011

See You Monday?

I haven’t posted much lately because I’m pretty sure the world is ending tomorrow. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? It makes perfect sense. And if the world is ending tomorrow then why bother updating this blog? You’ve seen Annie Hall, right?

But I’ll tell you what. If I wake up Sunday morning and a series of cataclysmic events have not ravaged the planet, and if I am I not deafened by the sound of people wailing from the depths of their agony, and if I have not myself been teleported into a fiery pit of non-believers, then I’ll start doing my homework again. Promise.

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Search YouTube for “Tuscaloosa Tornado” and you’ll find dozens of videos. But this is one of the more harrowing. This dude is filming from the corner of McFarland and 15th street. In other words, he’s about 100 yards from being dead.

It’s an 8 minute clip and it’s worth watching in its entirety, but if you just want to see how big this tornado was, jump to the 3:35 mark.

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As many of you know, Leigh Ann and I met in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, ground zero for the recent tornado outbreak. So far, everyone I’ve talked to is okay. But here’s a photo of Charlestown Square, my old apartment complex:

I lived in a second floor apartment on the far side, in one of the units that no longer appears to exist. Sadly, the unit to the right of mine, where those idiots gave Maxine acid, appears to have survived.

Truth be told, the news coverage is starting to bother me. I keep seeing the same story over and over again. It goes like this: the reporter finds some survivor and asks them how they made it, and that person invariably says they sat in their basement and prayed for Jesus to save them. And then the blowhard reporter (I’m looking at you, Brian Williams) says something like, “I guess he heard you” or “It looks like it worked” or something equally as ridiculous. Look, I understand why this meme exists. People like to think that God is on their side and that they’re a part of the “chosen people” (hell, entire religions are based on this). But no one ever stops to consider what this myth does to the young woman, also in her basement, also praying to Jesus, who had her baby ripped out of her arms and then had to watch helplessly as debris traveling at 200 mph shredded her infant alive. God chose to save you but mutilate that infant? Bullshit, my friend. You lived for the same reason that baby died: random f%&#ing chance.

If you think that sounds a little harsh, consider this: half of these kooks think that baby is going to hell if it wasn’t baptized.

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Yes, We Did

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