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No naked pictures of George Clooney me — something better. Effective immediately, Daddy’s My Mommy is available on your Kindle. No, really; you can subscribe here. A word of warning though: you get a two week trial and then you have to pay a monthly fee. I tried to make it free, but Amazon wouldn’t let me. Every blog is priced at either $1.99 or $.99, and Amazon gets to decide which. So kudos to the obviously drugged staffer who reviewed this site and decided it should be priced the same as the New York Times, the Huffington Post, and the National Review. But whatever.

It’s a pretty lucrative set up for me. For every dollar this site brings in, I get a fat $.30. Which means, for each person who subscribes to Daddy’s My Mommy for an entire year, I get one Taco Bell Fiesta Taco Salad. Sweet! Who says writers don’t look out for themselves?

p.s. What’s a Kindle?

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Get Comfy

I’ve added a Due Date image to the sidebar. Technically, we’re due this Thursday. But the baby is still riding high and the cervix through which we expect it to emerge has yet to dilate (0 cm).

So we could be here awhile.

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Someone emailed me to tell me that I’m using commas incorrectly. I, may, be. Specifically, this reader wanted to point out my misuse of serial commas. I shouldn’t be using them between the last two items of a series, they said.

Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, I know that rule. I just purposely ignore it.

In case anyone’s not familiar with the serial comma dilemma (and why should you be?), here’s a sentence that uses one:

“I got your email, read it, and deleted it.”

The serial comma is the comma between the phrase “read it” and the phrase “and deleted it.” In American newspapers, that sentence would look like this:

“I got your email, read it and deleted it.”

No serial comma. How come? Because it saves space, and for a newspaper, saved space = saved money. For simple sentences, it works fine. But in others, the omission of serial commas leads to problems of clarity. Let’s say you’re looking for a job and you see this in the classifieds section:

“Involves restocking shelves, cleaning, and serving customers.”

But then you see a very similar ad in the LA Times, only now it looks like this:

“Involves restocking shelves, cleaning and serving customers.”

I mean, times are tough right now. Sometimes you have to bend your own rules. But are you sure that second job doesn’t include giving customers a sponge bath?

So there you have it, folks. Why I purposely use serial commas. Because I am afraid of touching other naked men. Next week: Why when I spell things wrngo I’m doing that on prupose two.

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